So ok, I acknowledge and embrace “Change”, “Letting Go”, “Flowing”, “Sitting with the Pain”, “Divine Timing” and “Befriending the Ego”… but still, sometimes still it becomes too overwhelming!
Coming out of a 6 month depression, where I ended up into my old self harm patterns; alcohol and substance abuse, hangovers, lethargy, and lack of motivation… coming to terms with 2 romantic delusions (ego), massive financial losses, and accepting that I have no control over my court proceedings with my ex… to be honest, I thought it was now time for a break.
Everything was ready for my best friend and myself to happily attend the Healing Festival in Czech Republic until a week before I received the fakest ever voice message, where he told me that with love he decided that we should give each other space… wtf!?
On the very same day, someone I was into went from continous messaged to ghosting me, simply disappeared from the face of the earth!
To be honest, I ended up flabbergasted, not knowing what to say or do, and decided to do an ‘energy recall’ ritual and retreat in my “safe place” and sit with the pain… in the end, both of them decided for me, I have no control over their decisions, but what kept me strong was that I have no regrets and am actually grateful for them to have been part of my life! ❤️
Still, I was a bit demotivated towards travelling for a week, on my own to the Czech Republic, and was really going to pull back until the last minute somehow TikTok gave me the support I needed to make the plunge… literally!
“JUST BE PRESENT IN EVERY OPPORTUNITY”
The next morning, I made all the necessary arrangements, sorted the last bits, and booked Skydiving again… something that with my former friend I couldn’t do… it is at that point that I realised that sometimes being in a relationship, intimate or close friendship, we could be limiting ourselves or even carrying some dead weight!
Here I am now, the second day in Czech Republic, and the first night at the Healing Festival. I am fully present, available, and discovered some new breathing techniques, innovations, and most probably will be meeting some new friendships.
Fuck it, there is still some depth to the bottom of the rabbit hole, but all in all it is a beautiful journey, helping me appreciate that I am a beautiful soul, that can still give unconditional “love” without expecting anything in return.
In the coming days, the main focus will be to work on my boundaries, self-respect, and discipline… these are the 3 pillars for SELF LOVE!
Any old thinking patterns, emotions, and anything else that is not serving my highest good will remain up there this coming Sunday, when they throw my dead weight out of the plane ! 🙃
Enjoy the Lion’s Gate Portal 08/08/2024, and keep flowing through Mercury Retrograde.
Time to rest,
Christopher B
5dtimes.com 