Triggered by the Trigger

I’m writing this under a beautiful full moon — the kind of night when everything you haven’t dealt with comes up to the surface. Fitting, because here’s something nobody tells you about awakening: the more awake you become, the more triggered you get.

I’ll be honest — this is not my favourite subject. I’d rather write about peace, about synchronicities, about the magic. But I’m noticing it too often to ignore it, so I’m pushing forward anyway.

You’d think it works the other way round. More healing, more meditation, more awareness — surely less triggered, no? That’s the brochure version. The real version is that awareness turns the volume up on everything. The petty invoice, the driver who cuts you off, the small mistake that could have been avoided. You feel all of it, sharper than before.

And then comes the part that really gets you. Because you’re conscious now, you get triggered by the trigger. You know better. You know everything falls into place. You know you get what you manifest. So the moment you catch yourself boiling over something small, a second voice arrives: look at you, triggered again — and the more you trigger yourself, the more triggers you’re manifesting. Now you’re not just angry, you’re angry about being angry, and worried about what the anger is attracting. The loop feeds itself.

Once awake, you don’t just get triggered — you get triggered by the trigger itself!

And the loop continues until you stop. You breathe. And you say: it’s okay.

iFlow. iFlow.

That’s it. That’s the whole technology. Not a retreat, not a ritual. Stop, breathe, it’s okay, flow.

What have the triggers taught me? Various things, but mostly this: the mistakes I get triggered by are usually mistakes I could have avoided — and I didn’t avoid them because I was living in my head instead of focusing on what was in front of me. The trigger isn’t punishing me. It’s pointing at where I wasn’t present.

It’s not only the small stuff either. Zoom out and the macro triggers are everywhere. The government decides to “help” the citizens, creates a disincentive that in the end is fucking the citizens — and the citizens, not because they’re close-minded, end up clapping and saying thank you, minister. That one can eat you alive if you let it. Same loop, bigger scale. Same medicine: breathe. It’s okay. Do your part. Flow.

So here’s where I’ve landed, at least for now. The trigger has a job. It’s there to make sure the healing never stops — that the ascending is an ongoing process, not a certificate you hang on the wall. There must always be a balance between peace and trigger. All peace and no friction, and we’d stop growing altogether — we’d settle back into being second-density beings, comfortable and asleep. The trigger is the universe checking if you’re still awake.

I don’t have this mastered. Some days I catch the loop on the first breath. Other days I’m three spins deep before I even notice. But I’m starting to see the triggers less as failures of my awakening and more as part of it.

Work in progress. Still triggered. Still flowing.

The moon is still up. Tonight it feels like it’s on my side.